I was working on this week’s e-zine article, “25 of my Favorite Non-edible Holiday Pleasures,” and wanted to share with you one of my most luscious indulgences over the holidays. This is actually a recipe that my 11-year old daughter invented one night when she was bored (boredom is such a great catalyst for creativity). It is called Sarah’s Sensational face mask. I’ve used her recipe and added one special ingredient to add a little holiday cheer.
The addition of peppermint oil will dissolve the excess oil in your skin and kill any bacteria that may be causing those little creatures called zits.
This is a fun, cheap and beautifying activity for the holidays.
The Holiday Face Mask
1 tablespoon of plain yogurt
1 tablespoon of honey
1 drop of peppermint essential oil
1 egg white
Mix ingredients. Apply to face and allow to harden (5 to 10 minutes), then rinse. Your face will feel so soft and fresh.
Note: if you don’t have the peppermint oil, add a sqeeze of lemon and a sprinkle of nutmeg.
If you are interested in the other 24 holiday pleasures, sign up for this week’s e-zine article coming out on Thursday.
Also, if you try the mask, let me know how much you enjoy it. Sarah will be thrilled.
Last December, I attended three Christmas parties, baked goodies for neighbors, made gingerbread houses and drank hot chocolate at least four times a week.
I also lost about 6 pounds.
Five years ago, my itinerary looked very similar. The only difference was that entered the New Year 5 pounds heavier.
So, what was different?
I approached the holidays differently. My mother taught me that there is always a solution for a problem. For many years, I remained focused on the problem: lots of good food and my story around my inability to resist them.
Now I live in solution mode. This way of living requires that I pose a question that will lead to an answer. My q uestion became: “How can I enjoy my favorite holiday foods and maintain (or lose) weight?”
After years of searching for the solution, I have discovered my way of eating wonderful foods, maintaining my weight and truly enjoying the holiday season without all the guilt and drama that use to plague my experience.
Here are some of the solutions that have worked for me:
1- Eat When you are Hungry
I have studied naturally thin people for years, and what almost all of them have in common is that they eat when they are hungry.
Physical hunger is our body’s way of communicating with us. It is a signal that your body needs to be refueled.
During this holiday season, notice when you are physically hungry. Some of my clients describe physical hunger as a grumble in the tummy, lightheadedness, and/or physical weakness. Don’t wait until you are famished, b ut do allow yourself the gift of feeling that light, hungry feeling.
If you eat when you are physically hungry and stop when satisfied (not stuffed), you will most likely lose weight and, more importantly, you will learn how to communicate with your body
(Note: this type of body connection takes time, especially if you are overweight and have been disconnected for a long time. In my program, we work a lot with a hunger scale, which provides you with a visual guide to learning your body’s cues.)
2 – Use the 80% Rule
The Japanese have a saying called hara hachi bu, which means to eat until you are eighty percent full.
Many North Americans have the habit of eating way beyond eighty percent to the point of stretching out the stomachs and waistlines.
When you learn to use your body wisdom, not external cues, to feed yourself, you will learn what that light, energetic fe eling is for you.
3 – Drop the Guilt
I’ll never forget one of my French friends claiming that the reason Americans were overweight was because they don’t enjoy their food. However, I believe she is on to something.
One of the best ways to lose weight during the holidays is to take pleasure in the food. This may seem counterintuitive, but think about it. When are you most likely to overeat? When you’ve really enjoyed your meal or when you are carrying around the negative emotion of guilt for enjoying a piece of Aunt Betty’s pecan pie?
My clients report that most of their binges occur from feelings of guilt that says things like, “Well, you’ve blown it. You might as well eat another piece.”
Why not drop this worthless emotion and enjoy your food?
4 – Plan Your Splurges
I believe that part of the reason I was able to lose weight during last year’s holiday season was because I planned my splurges. Before baking all day, I planned to sit down with three of the cookies I had made and enjoy every bite. This intention swayed me from eating half the batter before it could make it to the oven.
Think about your favorite holiday foods. Is it eggnog? Maybe you enjoy pumpkin pie. Whatever it is, allow yourself the pleasure of enjoying it and plan it.
5 – Focus on Quality, not Quantity
The holiday season is filled with crappy food.
When you go unconscious and disconnect from your body, the tendency is to eat any and everything in sight, but this holiday season, I want you to focus on filling your body with nutritious, whole foods.
Snub processed foods and choose high quality meats, fruits and veggies, and even desserts.
When you eat flavorful and fresh foods versus the b land diet stuff, your tendency to overeat later decreases.
Ultimately, this leads to less calories and more pleasure. Voila! C’est parfait!
6 – Be Mindful of Alcohol
The holidays are festive, which means alcohol for many people. While I enjoy a glass of wine or Champagne, I also know that too much alcohol can cause people to disconnect from their bodies. Disconnected people overeat.
If you enjoy alcohol, please be mindful of its effect on you. You may want to consider alcohol as one of your splurges and plan on enjoying one drink. My experience has been that more than one drink leads to overeating.
7 – Move Your Body
It’s cold outside. Football games are on. People are gathered around the fire.
The holidays encourage us to sit around and relax. However, our bodies want to move, even if it is ten degrees Celsius outside .
Try to incorporate movement in your day. Hit the gym. Bundle up and take a walk. Try a workout video at home.
Just move.
8 – Breathe
Breathing is my magic weight loss tool.
Yes, something as innate and instinctual as breathing can help you lose weight.
Before each meal, I take deep breaths. Breathing techniques are another way of connecting with my body. As I feel the air moving in and out of my lungs, I notice my physical sensations. I am more aware of my body’s signals and needs. Breathing also reminds me of my intentions.
Breathing also alerts me to slow down. There is no need to rush through my meal. I can enjoy it slowly, one bite at a time.
Breath work helps me focus on what is before me: the wonderful food, my awesome family, my great health, and my countless blessings.
If yo u are in a situation where you are tempted to eat more than your body needs, practice breath work. Simple take ten nice, slow breaths and notice what’s going on within your body.
–
It’s not only possible to lose weight during the holidays, it’s fun. Honoring your body, connecting with yourself and enjoying foods are the best way to drop the pounds permanently.
I have concluded that when it comes to weight, we all have three distinct voices playing in our heads. However, there is usually a dominant one that sings the loudest and, as a result, it brings about the results you are currently experiencing.
I’ve included the typical thought patterns that result from each. See which one controls you most of the time:
The Fearful Fat Self
-I’ll never be thin.
-This is WAY too hard.
-My metabolism is so screwed up that I’ll never lose weight.
-I can’t seem to stop thinking about food.
-I look disgusting.
-Wow, this tastes so good, I’ll eat the whole thing and start my diet tomorrow.
-Can you believe she said that to me? I need a cookie.
-I hate feeling bad.
The Psycho Skinny Self
-I only worked out sixty minutes today. What a lazy slob!
-Forty-five grams of carbs. I don’t think so!
-I think about food all the time.
-Sugar is of the devil.
-I’m going to skip the holiday party. Way too tempting.
-OMG, I gained half a pound. I’m not eating for the next 24 hours.
The Zenfully Thin Self
-It feels GREAT listening and honoring my body.
-I love being naturally thin.
-I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want.
-I love moving my body.
-I have many things that bring me joy other than food.
-No, thank you. I’m not hungry. Maybe later.
-I’m too upset to eat.
-I don’t mind getting hungry. Food is always available.
-I love taking care of myself.
Having lived in a world dominated by all three selves at some point in my life, I will tell you that life is best lived from the place of zenfully thin.
(From May 2009)
I love beets, especially this time of the year when you can buy them fresh, straight from the farmer’s soil. So, yesterday, I picked up a few bunches and made one of my favorite winter soups.
1 cup of julienned beets (Hint: slice the beets with a food processor and then cut into long strips)
2 russet potatoes cut into 1 in. chunks
4 stalks of celery with leaves sliced
3 carrots sliced
1 cup of onion diced
2 green apples diced
1 tablespoon of dill
1 head of red cabbage thinly sliced
1 can of diced tomatoes
1/2 cup of tomato paste
4 tbs. apple cider vinegar
3 tbs. honey (may use brown sugar instead)
5 cups of water
3 tbs. olive oil
1 jalepeno pepper diced very finely
In a pot, boil the water and add the beets and potatoes. Cook on medium heat for 25 minutes.
While this is cooking, heat olive oil in a skillet and add onions, carrots, celery, jalepeno and cabbage. Add dill weed and cook for 10 minutes over medium heat, add apples and cook for 5 more minutes. (While cooking, add juice from the beets and carrots to the mixture.)
Add mixture to the beets and potato pot, along with diced tomato and tomato paste, vinegar, and honey. Simmer for 15 minutes. Immediately before serving, add a squeeze of lemon juice. Serve with a dollop of sour cream or yogurt and fresh parsley.
The longer this soup sits, the better it taste!
I love walking the streets of Paris and watching lovers unapologetically display their affection. The passion, romance, attentiveness; it’s magical.
The best way to lose weight is to go back to that place of love, but this time, direct it inward. Yes, you need to become your own lover.
Lovers rarely criticize, make nasty judgments or crude comments about each other. Instead, there is a respect, love and connection that brings two people together to experience joy and happiness.
I’m not surprised that many women in our culture are overweight and cannot find peace with food. They are in a constant battle with themselves. We hate our thighs, our arms, our stomachs. I recently had a client who absolutely loathed her toes. Her toes!!!
How do we expect to lose weight in such a hostile environment? It’s miserable. Even if you lose the weight, it will reappear because you’ve created an internal battle that will always place you at the end of your own trigger.
So, in order to drop pounds and became the most amazing you, you must first love yourself at this very moment. I don’t care if your ass is the size of Texas, love thy ass and love it with all of thy heart.
Think about this: Would you expect a child to flourish in a home where he is constantly being criticized and told that he is stupid, worthless, and hopeless? Of course not. But each time you inwardly scold yourself, you are creating the same toxic environment that keeps your inner child from flourishing. STOP.
Once you begin to love your body and yourself, an amazing transformation begins to happen. No longer are you detached from yourself, but instead you are so connected to your body, your needs, and your life. Gradually, as you begin to accept your body “as is,” you will notice that you choose an apple over a doughnut or maybe a walk over a watching the latest “Grey’s Anatomy.” And you’ll know that you’ve connected because it will not feel like deprivation; instead, you will feel amazingly good because you will be honoring your body, the body that you have at that very moment.
Now, getting to this place of self-love is not easy, especially considering that many women are so disconnected that they cannot even feel their feelings (physical and emotional). But, believe it or not, we were meant to be loving creatures, especially to love ourselves. All it takes is constant vigilance. That’s right. I expect you to stay up day after day, night after night, and march around the walls of your mind and note any self-sabotaging talk. Keep a journal and write everything down that you’ve been telling yourself, most likely for years. Once you have your thoughts on paper, look at it, and ask yourself, “Would I let anyone talk to my child, spouse, mom, dad, brother, sister, or anyone you love like this?” If you care for them the answer should be “NO.”
Still, it’s not so easy. Since you’ve most likely been telling yourself that you have “cottage cheese thighs,” “arms that resemble wings,” or a “hangy stomach” (these are real client’s comments), you have accepted this non-sense as true. Stop, write it down, and look at it. I mean really look at it.
Our thoughts are the root of our troubles, not our thighs, or our arms, or any external circumstance. It’s our own personal judgments that we make about them. And guess what? Thoughts can be changed quicker than the circumference of your backside, so work on your thoughts first, and the rest will slowly and effortlessly begin to conform to your new way of thinking (and loving).
How many calories in that dressing? What about the carbs in Aunt Betty’s pie? Oh, and did I get enough protein?
Yeah, yeah, yeah….been there and got that t-shirt!
I’m so thankful that my family loves me, because I’m sure I’ve was annoyingly pretentious during my food and body obsessed days. There was the year of the Tofurkey, then the low-fat stuffing phase, and we must not forget the year of no carbs.
I remember calculating the Thanksgiving nutritional info before arriving at my mom’s to make sure that I stuck with “the plan.” On the flip side, I recall driving to her home with the sole intention of stuffing myself silly.
Both sucked!
Now, I’ve learned what really needs to be counted on Thanksgiving day (or any day for that matter) to ensure that I honor my body AND eat the delicious foods that I truly enjoy.
1 – Count the number of people in your life that brings you joy
2 – Estimate the amount of love that went into preparing the food you are eating
3 – Count the number of times your heart beats every minute
4 – Tally up the number of smiles you give and receive on Thanksgiving Day
5 – Count the football scores
6 – Calculate the benefits of an after dinner walk with someone you love
7 – Count how fast (or slow) you eat your meal (slow down and enjoy)
8 – Count the number of dishes that you have the honor of washing
9 – Estimate your physical hunger level
10 – Calculate the benefits of nourishing your body with whole, nutritious foods
11- Count the many ways your body has supported you
12 – Tally up all the payoffs of having your health
13 – Count the number of years you have been blessed with the opportunity to experience another Thanksgiving
14 – Finally, count your blessings that you no longer need to obsess over the numbers because you can trust your body
But, wait! If I don’t count calories or obsess about the meal, won’t I gain weight?
Yes, I hear this a lot, and the short answer is: maybe, but probably not.
But, let me pose this question to you. If you lose weight by torturing yourself with rigid rules and crazy restrictions, what have you gained?
I have found that weight loss occurs in relaxed environments, and crazy, obsessive numbers counting is FAR from relaxed. That’s the kind of behavior that will have me stuffing down a pecan pie in a skinny minute!
So, trust your body, drop the crazy rules, and on the day of “thanks,” count your many, many blessings.
In other words, RELAX and ENJOY!
With that said, I have so much to be grateful for, but I am especially thankful for no longer being the calorie obsessed, carb fearing, protein pumping, body loathing girl that I once was.
This is HUGE people!
(P.S. I just wrote an article for my e-zine that demonstrates how you can “Thank Your Weight Off.” It’s coming out tomorrow, so sign up here.)
I LOVE to play.
I know that you do too! If the thought of play does not excite you, I suspect it’s just because you are most likely disconnected from a part of yourself that craves laughter and joy.
Our desire to play is deep within us. My dogs remind me of this each night when, like clock work, they start their routine of grabbing each other by the collar, tugging on their stuffed bears and running around the house chasing after play.
Many of my weight clients lack recreation in their lives. They are running from obligation to obligation. Their family life and work leaves little time for active play, so I’m not surprised in the least when they call me after a binge. Their soul is crying for something more. However, food will never fill that deep desire to create, jump, laugh, and enjoy the simple pleasures in life.
I was saddened when I read that a recent UNICEF study showed that American children are the 2nd least happy children in the world. However, I’m not surprised. Look at who they have as role models. We’ve robbed them of recess time and we are showing that it’s more important to climb a ladder of success than stay on the ground and enjoy.
We have also stolen our own right to have play in our lives. You deserve down time. You deserve to act silly, laugh and be curious about your world. So, try some of the following techniques to give yourself the gift of play.
1 – Schedule Play Time
Just like kids have recess time (well, at least when they did), adults need to schedule play time into their schedule as well. When I am making my weekly calendar, play is at the top of my priority list.
If you currently have no play time in your life, then maybe you can start out with just thirty minutes a week, and then progress up to at least fifteen minutes a day, hopefully more.
2 – Host a game night
Remember when the adults in our life would break out a board game and that excitement that would arise within us. Board games are fun and a great way to connect with family and friends. My favorites are Monopoly and Taboo. What about yours?
3 – Drop the either/or attitude
Our puritanical roots has convinced us that we must work hard and play less, but I am a believer that our work can be our play. Our work in the world should be a reflection of who we are, and we are innately playful. So, even if you are in a job that you don’t necessarily enjoy, or even if you LOVE your job, find ways to add more play to your work environment.
Recently, one of my private clients confessed that she loved Zumba, a form of dance/exercise that is becoming quite popular these days, so I had her approach her boss to see if she would be willing to allow my client to organize a lunch time Zumba class, and voila, it worked. Now, my client looks forward to work because she figured out how to integrate play into her work life, not to mention that she’s lost twenty pounds.
4 – Pick a Sport
Sports are great! They get us outdoors, make us sweat, and they are loads of fun. I challenge you to choose a sport that sounds fun or that you have always wanted to try, and take a lesson, sign up for a class, or just go out and do it.
5 – Dance
My daughter and I both enjoy dancing, and I am one of those freaky moms who knows how to “pop it,” “grind it,” and all other kinds of “verbing its.” My daughter and I will throw on some Black Eyed Peas and just get busy, dancing, laughing, and often times, I end up in some kind of physical state that has me asking for help off the floor.
When I’m dancing, I feel so alive, so free, and so, so grateful for my body.
Try throwing on some music, and just let yourself really feel the music, and dance!
6 – Walk barefooted in the grass
I love having my clients do this exercise, especially my very sophisticated clients who HATE the thought of getting their feet dirty.
Take off your shoes and walk out in the early morning grass, and feel the blades between your toes. Feel the coolness on your feet. Feel what it feels like to connect with the earth. Sometimes this is the best catalyst to getting us back in touch with our playful selves.
7- Become a Stargazer
Do you remember studying the constellations in school? I found it to be so fascinating, trying to find the Little and Big Dipper.
Not too long ago, I realized that even though I would occasionally comment on the beautiful night sky, I had lost that wonder that I had as a kid, so I took a blanket, and I headed out to just stare at the sky with curiosity.
Make a date with yourself and the starry sky, and watch that curiosity reawaken in you.
8 – Go to a Park
Parks beg us to engage in the act of play.
When I step into a park, I feel as if I am stepping out of the real world for a while.
Plan a visit to the park. Take your dog, a frisbee or just a good book and enjoy detaching for a while.
Swing, skip, run or, if you’re brave, go head first down the slide.
9 – Bubbles
Bubbles equal play.
As kids, we loved bubbles, but when do lose that fascination? I am convinced that somewhere within us women is that same awe when we see a bubble floating through the air.
As my daughter has gotten older, our bubble supply has definitely declined, but we still use bubble baths, and occasionally, I will run across a party gift bag that has a bottle of mixture and the magic wand, and I will walk outside and with the same fascination as a five year old, I will witness how air and solution creates this magical thing that floats through the air, and then pops. Amazing!
10 – Turn off the world and Just Be
Sometimes the best play is disconnecting from all the chatter of the external world and tuning into the presence of our being. When you can do this, you begin to gain that child-like curiosity that will open up many modes of play, whether it’s studying the clouds in the sky and trying to name their shape or simply just walking through the woods and just noticing what’s around you.
You are never too old for play. In fact, the older we get, the more we need it.
When you learn to be more playful in your life, you will find that the world opens up like a big amusement park and invites you in, and there you will discover play like you have never known.
I’m a weight loss coach who loathes the term “weight loss.”
I know. I still use it. In fact, it’s plastered all over my website. And, even I sometimes think, “I need to lose a few pounds.”
The fact is that “weight loss” is the common language used around wanting to reach an ideal body weight, so I just go with the flow.
So, you’re probably wondering what my problem is with the words, “weight loss?”
Well, let’s play for a minute. Okay? I’m going to ask you some questions, and I want you to notice your emotional and physical response after each one. Ready?
Would you rather build an amazing and healthy body?
or
Would you rather lose weight?
So?
Did you notice the difference?
Let’s do the next one.
Would you rather fuel your body with delicious and nutritious foods?
or
Would you rather eat less than 1,600 calories a day?
As someone who has struggled with weight, I can say from experience that the first question excites me. It’s the question that has me ordering steamed vegetables and brown rice for dinner and loving every bite.
Versus:
The second question which makes me cringe from the thought of another diet, more restrictions and an eventual binge from me telling myself that I am missing something. Yep, it’s the one that will have me digging into the frozen cookie dough in a matter of seconds.
When you focus on building and creating, it carries a different energy than the thought of losing something.
Furthermore, our language can excite us or make us white knuckle towards our goal.
This week, focus on what you want to create rather than what you want to get rid of. Also, notice your language. Is it focused on losing or creating?
Clients who shift their self-talk towards an attitude of creating and building report that their motivation increases, energy levels rise, and the thought of ice cream after dinner loses its seductive power.
So, are you building or losing?
(P.S. If you are interested in creating an end game that will transform your physique, then don’t miss my next e-zine article, “Creating and End Game for your Body.” You can sign up here.)
My husband has this thing he calls “The 2% Rule.”
It’s not one of those rules that is quantitative, like Eintstein’s Law of Energy (you know, E=mc [squared]). In fact, he often compares it to peeing in dark pants. When practicing this law, no one notices it but you.
But, the 2% rule can change your life.
Here’s how it works (or at least this is his theory of how it works, so if you don’t agree, I’ll forward your comments to him): You have 168 hours in a week. If you calculate 2% of these hours, it comes out to a little more than 3 hours per week. According to his theory, if you invest this amount of time into your goal, it can make huge shifts in your life over time.
It looks something like this:
-If your goal is to lose weight, investing 3 hours per week exercising could be what it takes to shed some pounds.
-If your goal is to get into law school, then spending just 3 hours per week studying for the LSAT and preparing for the application process could make or break your chances.
-If your goal is to organize your finances, then spend less than 30 minutes per day focusing on this one specific area of your life
-If your goal is to learn how to cook like Julia Child, just 3 hours per week in the kitchen could make the difference between you being domestically challenged or a kitchen goddess.
I was recently reminded of the 2% rule as my daughter sat at our dining room table working on her math homework. Her assignment was to do the odd number problems on page 202.
She struggled through most of them, and with relief, she closed the book and said, “I’m done.”
This is when I sat down and explained the 2% rule. “Honey, why don’t you try working on a few more problems so that you can get some extra practice. Sometimes, giving a little more effort and time (aka “The 2% rule) can be the difference between you understanding the material or not.”
Of course, she protested, and I didn’t push the subject. Our children need to learn their own lessons (that’s another post). However, when she came home the next week with a less than stellar math grade, I brought up the rule again, and this time she was ready to listen.
Here’s the thing with giving an extra 2%: it’s so easy. Really. On a daily basis, it takes little effort compared to what it gives you over the course of your life. It’s less than 30 minutes a day.
Yet, so many people are not willing to put forth just 2% more effort. They choose to watch TV instead of going to they gym. Or, they choose to go out with friends instead of working on the project that they really want to complete.
The 2% rule takes very little time. For example, I might run an extra five minutes on the treadmill or write thirty minutes instead of twenty-five. Living by this rule takes less than 30 minutes a day.
Athletes are great examples of what it’s like to live by the rule. Even though my daughter was not interested in giving a little extra effort in her math homework, I am so impressed by her dedication to tennis. Almost every day of the week, she is on the court for at least two hours. (Note: this is more than 2 percent)
Recently, one of her friends commented that she wished she could play as good as Sarah. Yes, you might have guessed. I explained the 2% rule.
I’m convinced that successful people are products of persistence and dedication more than innate talent. It’s the willingness to give a little more, go a little further, and play a little bigger.
Since my husband is the founder of “The 2% Rule” (well, at least in our home), then I must share his 2% story.
In college, he had a burning desire to go to medical school, even though his high school counselor thought he might be better fitted suited for a little less taxing course of study (like ceramics or something).
He didn’t let that stop him.
So, in college, he studied…a lot. When all of his buddies were partying into the wee morning hours, he cut his nights short to read that day’s lecture notes (2%). He skipped college games to head to the library (another 2%). He participated in extra credit projects (yes, another 2%).
Then, when it was time to apply to medical school, the odds were still not in his favor. Let’s just say his MCAT score was ranked up there with my daughter’s math test grade. Yet, he gave an extra 2%. He applied to more schools, developed relationships with the admission’s offices, and didn’t get discouraged when the rejection letters came in.
Alas, he was accepted into Indiana’s School of Medicine.
His 2% effort has led to an amazing career with a residency at the Cleveland Clinic and a fellowship at Duke University. I don’t tell you this to brag (well, yeah, maybe a little, only because I am super proud of him) I tell you this only because it was the 2% rule that led to his success, not a wealthy family or an association with the Alumni association.
It was PURE, consistent effort.
Over the course of his career, he has given an extra 2% to his work and his patients. As an anesthesiologist, it’s quite common to check a chart, stick your head in the room and give a brief introduction and then move on to the next patient. But, not if you live by the 2% rule.
I have his patients tell me how thoughtful he is, how he takes the time to listen, and how he acts as if he really cares about them. When you break it down into time, this might be an extra minute with one patient, but the benefits are gigantic.
I must admit that I am benefiting from my husband’s life of living by this rule. His consistency in showing up in his own life and giving a little bit more than most people would has allowed us to build a wonderful life together.
He inspires my daily to give just 2% more than I normally would. This may look like an extra blog post, going out of my way to offer help to a stranger or an extra mile on my run. This rule really does work.
There’s something I must tell you about this rule, however. It isn’t instant gratification. Nope. Not at all. When my daughter is all alone practicing her serves on the court, she does not have the audience there cheering her on. When I’m sitting in my office, developing a new tool or writing a new article, there’s no pat on the back. When you are at thy gym doing your second set of squats, you can’t see the fat disappearing from your thighs. Living by this rule requires trust and faith.
But, look around at where you’ve put your extra effort in life, and you will see that the 2% rule really does work.
The term “life coach” is a bit cheesy, I’ll admit.
Many of my friends and family wonder what the heck I do. “A coach? I didn’t know you were involved in sports,” one friend recently said.
Okay, I get it. Having a life coach is not mainstream, but, then again, I’m not a mainstream kind of gal, and therefore, I will ALWAYS have my own coach.
Why?
Well,
1 – A coach helps you clear things up
Our minds are full of crap, and a coach can help you cleanse the lens so that you can see your life more clearly
2- A coach is your partner
When I hired my first coach, Susan Hyatt, I knew that I had discovered a person who would partner with me to help me define and reach my goals.
3- A coach helps you see a bigger picture
How many times have you gotten so involved in your story that you can’t “see the forest for the trees” (sorry for the cliché, but it’s a good one)? A coach can help you draw the camera back and see how your situation is perfect for your next step.
4- A coach asks you to play a bigger game
My current mentor demands that I step up in my life and play bigger than I would alone. She’s that one that on the sidelines telling me to go for the 3-pointer. She gives me the courage and confidence to step up in my own life.
5- A coach holds you accountable
I was recently at an event with some big wig CEO’s, and I discovered that many of them have coaches. Even the most accomplished, educated and driven people need accountability. When we have someone to answer to, we get out butts into gear. You can procrastinate, but you better be doing something while you think about not doing.
6- A coach helps you create a game plan
Five years ago, I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t even realize that life would function much better with one. Isn’t this just the way my life is supposed to be?, I wondered. Simply put, I was a reactive participant in my life. After graduating from Boston University, I wasn’t clear on my next step. I had a general idea, but a coach helped me look at my gifts, strengths, and passions to create a concrete end game, and I’m playing it out now.
7- A coach holds the space for you to go within and explore
Remember when you were a kid and you could tell people that you wanted to be a ballerina or a race car driver and they didn’t think you were a moron or totally “out of your league”? Well, a good coach will hold that space for you to explore your options and build BIG dreams.
8 – A good coach will question your crappy thoughts.
I didn’t realize how screwed up my thinking was until I hired my first coach. One of my first thoughts that she called me on was that “I was a babbling idiot.” I had such a fear of speaking in public, and I had convinced myself that my dream of becoming a speaker was forever lost to this “truth.” When she stopped me and boldly said, “That’s a lie,” it was the first time that I realized that we are NOT our thoughts, but we become our thoughts when we believe them. (Note: Two months later I delivered a keynote speech to an audience of over one hundred people, and I didn’t babble the first time. MIRACLE!)
9 – A coach does not care if you have failed 1,000 times
Unlike therapy that takes you back into your past, a coach looks at where you are now, and helps you move forward. Sure, she will help you learn where you might have gotten tripped up in the past, but she will not allow you to fondle your story for too long.
10 – A coach celebrates your victories
We all have victories, whether it’s eating only half of your entrée or running your first 5K, but many people often ignore or minimize those small personal victories that will add up to BIG success. A coach will demand that you stop and notice everything that you are doing right in your life, instead of focusing on those areas that may not be going so well.
11 – A coach will help you develop kick ass mindsets
People hold themselves back because they have the wrong mindsets. A good coach will help you create and practice the new mindsets that are aligned with your intentions.
12 –A coach will demand that you stay true to yourself
It’s so easy to get swept up in the emotions of a situation or to stray off course, but a coach will remind you of what’s really important to you, and then gently (or sometimes with a swift kick in the rear), she will ask you to stay true to your intentions.
13 – A coach will help you to connect with your body
In my work as a weight loss coach, I work with listening and connecting to the physical body, but I find that many people, even those of normal weight, are physically disconnected from themselves. Part of our life journey is honoring our bodies, and a good coach will always keep this in mind as you create and take action in your life. She will remind you that you need adequate sleep, nutritious foods and exercise to help you play your best game.
14 – A coach will teach you how to stop living in problem mode to thriving in solution mode
How many times do you say to yourself things like,
Why can’t I figure this out?
Why am I so disorganized?
Why can’t I lose weight?
A coach will take these same questions and turn them into magical questions, such as:
How can I figure this out?
How can I become organized?
How can I lose weight?
15- A coach will help you balance the wheel
In our wheel of life, it’s common to get so focused on one area of life that the other areas suffer. For example, my weight loss clients can become so engrossed in exercise and their eating habits that I have to remind them that they should check back in with their body and honor it with rest and an occasional treat. I have also had clients who are so focused on building their businesses that they forgot about their original intention to spend more time with their family. A coach will help you keep that wheel balanced.
16 –A coach will demand that you invest in yourself
I am amazed at how tentative people are to invest in themselves. Many would rather put their money in the volatile stock market than in their own growth.
Whether it’s time, money or energy, a good coach will ask you to invest in your wonderful self. Investing in myself has been the best money I have ever spent, and it has had a much better ROI than the recent stock market.
Even my clients report not only having more energy and time to do what they love, but investing in themselves has put more money in their pocket.
17 – A coach can help you feel better right now!
After just one session, my client wrote the following:
In a very brief time, Tonya has helped me not only see the possibilities, but feel them as well. When self-defeating thoughts begin to creep back into my mind, Tonya has given me some cool coping skills that allow me to break these thoughts down and dream beyond the cramped confines of my own self-made prison.
So, there you have it folks! These are some of the reasons that I will always have my own coach (Believe it or not, there are even more benefits of coaching, but you need to try it to experience it.)
Coaching has changed my life: both having a coach and being one.
It’s been a magical journey, and I want to share the power of coaching with others. I would not be where I am today without the people in my life who helped me see myself differently than I saw me.
I’ll share a small sample of how coaching has benefited me:
-My marriage has improved ten fold (Seriously, it’s HOT!)
- I am a better parent (My daughter is AMAZING, and coaching has helped me focus on all her gifts. Plus I have shared many of my coaching tools with her.)
-I have created my own company that serves amazing women who are transforming their bodies and lives
-Guilt is no longer a part of my vocabulary
-I am better organized (miracle!)
-I can manage money like a Harvard MBA grad turned CEO (another miracle!)
-I am a speaker (no longer the babbling idiot!)
-I discovered that my past is perfect (never thought I would say that!)
Coaching is a gift, and I feel like I had been handed a priceless treasure, and my obligation is to share it with others.
So, if you’re wondering if a coach is right for you, then ask yourself the following questions:
Do I want to play bigger in my own life?
Do I want to create an end game?
Do I want someone to partner with me as I explore my options?
Do I want accountability?
Do I sabotage myself with limiting beliefs?
Am I tired of settling or tolerating a less than stellar life?
Am I ready to stop living behind a veil of excuses and deal with my issues?
Am I ready to step up and shine?
If you are interested in hiring a coach, get really clear on what your goals and needs are. If you are in transition, and you don’t know what the heck you need, then there are coaches for that. If you are trying to grow a business, there are great business coaches that specialize in helping entrepreneurs. If you are looking for love or what to pump up the love you have, then find a relationship coach. If you are interested in losing weight, gaining confidence, dealing with emotional eating, and creating a body you love, then find a weight coach or contact me.
P.S. Would you like to create a game plan for your life? Then sign up for my Just B E-zine for next week’s issue! The feature article is “How to Create Your End Game” Click here to subscribe! 
